Code of Conduct

t has taken approximately one week longer than anticipated to publish the "simple" watch movie I programmed and illustrated using Macromedia Flash. The original post explaining my effort is here.

am generally satisfied and came to the crossroad of whether to fiddle and tweak it endlessly until I had exhausted all refinement or actually release something to the public. The latter is a drastic departure for me. As I am generally pleased that the movie is not "clunky" and awkward and simulates the sleek and smooth functioning of the real watch made by Breitling to a fairly high degree I have taken a bold new step for me and published. I hope to continue in this vein from here on so that my writing and other creative efforts will be seen by their intended audiences. I have a tendency to want something to be perfect before allowing others to be involved. The consequence of that has been that essentially nothing I begin ever is completed or allowed to sink or swim on its own merits.

any of my creative and artistic friends suffer from the same malady. We are also often confronted with the reveal by someone else of many ideas which we had and, frankly developed further, but stand by helplessly because they profited from exposure while we merely wrestled with our demons. I am trying to break that cycle. Thus, warts and all, I have made myself vulnerable to criticism by posting my less than perfect work in the right sidebar. I had to remind myself that my desire to create this small work was for the express purpose of sharing it. For once, I have not lost sight of the main objective. All of the stopwatch functions work. The clock shows the date and time of day where I live. In this way, regardless of where you are in the world or no matter the time of day or night of your viewing my posts you will be made a little more intimately involved directly with my life experience. That's really a goal in my writing in the first place. I want to connect more directly with my readers. I consider my desire to make contact with you was more important than making the perfect watch simulation. But, in my communication as well as future program tweaks I will always strive to improve both.

Three Bolts, Two Clamps, and One Hose

hree bolts, two clamps, and one hose were all that prevented me from simply getting in my car and heading in any direction to any location I wished. How much does one need to prepare and concern oneself with such trivial things? Much more often and with greater care, it would seem. Most of the events of our lives are dependent upon items so common that they seldom catch our notice until they oppose our desires. Then the simple element with a simple function complicates the course of our day, consumes our hours, squanders our minutes; frustrates our plans. The details overlooked seed the clouds of circumstances that overwhelm. The smallest thing demands its due recognition. There are no skipped steps and no details so insignificant that may be neglected.

t is the same with writing. All of the rules of style and format and spelling and grammar and punctuation are only the foundation. If one is to write a truly human work there can not be the luxury of skimming over the little things. One hose failed and confined me to a two day sentence of imprisonment. Not only did I have to contend with the failed component but also the failed maintenance schedule, budget, preparation, grocery shopping, and attention to the little details of cause and effect. Then there was the assessment of the ways and means to navigate a problem that had been the result of another human being’s imagination. Every method that could resolve the failure had to satisfy the conditions inherited by me from the design and assembly of some unknown hand.

here is always trial and error, and despite the naturally great distaste for failure, it must be given its due. There is a part of me that recognizes – that actually knows and has admitted – that I do not learn much at all from success. My tuition has been in the failing. I need to remind myself of these things as I write. I need to make certain in my stories that I plan for failure more than the characters realize success. All of those elements of anticipation mingled with denied gratification are necessary to bring that delicious tension to the work which draws in the reader. Like the necessary uncertainty that comes as a stringed instrument is strained and tuned to pitch as to whether it will break or hold, I need to slowly give the work that one, last, critical twist. I think I am going to strive to bait the reader with the false belief held by the whole human race that mankind is fundamentally good and that good always prevails. Then I shall let the details rip that fallacy to shreds. The truth I would like to confront my audience with is that mankind is basically flawed and all good comes from concerted strain and effort against the natural order of chaos.

ven after I had bled and bruised myself from the strain and contortions that I had no choice but to go through in order to replace that hose there was no assurance I had been successful. Sometimes, doubt, is a powerful motivator. Was the replacement secretly flawed? Had another of those little details escaped my view and was it possible I had damaged the very thing I had endeavored to mend? Were those clamps positioned to maximize their effectiveness in securing that hose to its couplings? Did I tighten those three bolts in any combination of too loose or too tight – anything other than correctly? Was it all for show or was it good to go?

hat uncertainty is the very thing I want my readers to feel when they risk driving off in the work of my hands and the vehicle of my imagination.

Code Violations

y current audience consists of two people other than myself. That's fine. This is not one of those blogs where you go to get entertained by a broadcast of telling moments from someone's day. Hopefully, at some future date, it will become a little more like that. Should I have any success as an author, I may be able to tell little anecdotes about meetings with publishers or publicists. I secretly desire to travel to certain spots in the world as inspiration for my work. So, those experiences would be enjoyable, I think.

or the present and foreseeable future, however, I will be mostly journaling about my meandering thoughts and maybe I'll glean some insights from my own conclusions. I'm not expecting any amazing revelations but I am leaving the door open to be surprised. I've really been distracted and uninspired this week. I chased after some email conversations, diverted my time and attention with focus on my other blog (an alter-ego rant festival) and jumped into a little exercise in frustration trying to develop a widget for decorating the sidebar column of this blog page. No. You needn't get caught up in looking for it as it hasn't materialized, yet. I am extremely close but I'm working out flaws in several people's reasoning, including my own. Suffice it to say that if I complete the little gizmo, and execute the presentation properly, there'll be no celebration by anyone seeing it. It will most likely be taken for granted. I suppose that will represent success to me because although the idea is simple the development has not been.

will insist it is a valid exercise because programming is another form of writing that takes practice and skill and is not for everyone. To be able to code, in any programming language, is akin to being able to compose a musical score. That's another pursuit of mine but we'll save that for another day. The challenge in writing software is that the success or failure is much more readily on display than in other forms of authoring. There are only a few places where one may cheat or fall back on comfortable crutches in technique or presentation. Even plagiarism does not work easily with software code. It really requires focus, discipline, and a willingness to be found wrong again and again without losing heart and giving up. Syntax is hugely significant. Spelling accepts no mistakes and there is no spell checker in most debugging tools. It is a great exercise for developing concentration, reason, and determination. Sometimes the discovery of the "right way" to bring your imagination to life is a work of art. There's beauty in the math and structure of the code. It's very intimate and very personal and no matter how much you gush over it while explaining enthusiastically to a non-participant it is going to remain a private affair. This may carry over positively into my novels and other forms of literary constructions. I suppose one really must enjoy what they are doing exclusively and finding anyone else to enjoy it is just a happy coincidence.

hat is an odd thought because I always have a unique someone or special group of someones in mind when I am writing. I am writing to please them and writing to them and writing for them. If I feel I am reaching my intended audience I grow enthusiastic and energized to continue. That's a weak motivation. One bad day or an off impression or even a misinterpretation of a person's reaction has the power to deter or detain or detract from my writing. I'm only realizing that at this moment and thinking how many days have gone by without an entry because I let my imagination of someone else's approval or disapproval interfere with my love of writing. I will need to make that realization a law not to be violated and set writing for the sake of writing as a precedent. There are rules to be broken and there are rules to embrace. I think I find fewer rules need to be broken than habits and attitudes, though. There must be an inviolate code that an author subscribes to in order to create and continue to create with purpose. Like any pursuit it is obvious that one can not allow them self to be diverted from their goal by negative and opposing influences. It 's just important to realize that the really negative and disingenuous notions most often are found from within and not from external sources. Ah, the suffering artist.